• Whoah! Unbelievable *19* year old girl just messaged me on … Hot … Tiny …wait… 03:44:53
  • RT @StripperTweets: me: "hi! how you doing?" guy: "not so good. It's been a rough day. *sadface* my favorite basketball player got hurt … 03:45:50
  • I love people who make laugh in the middle of the night on Twitter. 03:48:04
  • Comic relief breaks up & augments the already-intense pleasure of playing Bejeweled Blitz while huffing my ripe panties. #SaturdayNight 03:51:51
  • Still looking HARD at this 19 yo girl's profile. I don't think it's fake. She's 4'7". Wants to shoot. From my home valley. 11:35:19
  • If right-wing Christians are against homo sex, I'm against Christians using lawnmowers & other power tools on the Sabbath. #MakeItLaw 11:59:19
  • Either that, or I'm gonna go fuck babes hardcore on church lawns whenever I have to endure the sound of weedeaters on Sunday. Or Saturday. 12:01:24
  • Thank you, @DeliaTS, for that mango you cut up & put in a bowl for my breakfast. #delicious #SunInMouth #LOVE #marriage 12:24:20