• My mom is showing me her phone wallpaper & describing her lovely ringtone: "so yeah: call me so you can hear it. IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME." 11:21:16
  • GOAL: get pilot's license & plane so I can tow banner over stadiums that just says "I love your big dick, Daddy!" and other obscenities. 11:44:46
  • At any rate, something less offensively boring than marriage proposals. 11:46:37
  • DISCOVERY: acting like an 1) insecure 2) possibly-insane train wreck not only buys time but also ADDS INTEREST. #hook #anticipatoryset 16:28:44
  • (note: not really "acting" – discoveries would not be made if not genuine) 16:29:55
  • My nudie pic post for yesterday is a progress report on the challenge @babestoday issued me: http://t.co/P1wbc3NDLv 17:35:26
  • My wife @DeliaTS is an inspiration. Admiring the learning & self-teaching & practicing she's doing with her bass-playing. 17:43:09
  • My equinox-appropriate pussy-smell of the day: http://t.co/r0UH7e8W1z 17:57:22
  • Oh, thank goodness! Lady at next table loudly mispronounced "vermouth". Now I feel much better about my sweatpants. VURR-mouth? 18:29:59
  • Wearing a pokey metal thing on my head, NAKED! http://t.co/Mu0NH4Qz4I 22:13:36
  • AWESOME! The kind of gay dudes you never see in movies / on TV: http://t.co/MMEfTkeQZy 22:17:33
  • Oh man, that guy is DRUUUUNK. And he just mortified his young friend by doing an impromptu "retard" impression. 22:21:34
  • RT @katsnacks: I would like to take the week before my period, of my period, every full moon, the week after rent is due, & before the 15th… 22:27:36