• Getting ready for a funeral tomorrow … and getting some good dick afterwards. 00:40:07
  • My wife @DeliaTS looks so pretty asleep right now, legs akimbo sticking out of the sheets trying to stay cool. 01:48:57
  • Nightmare: old friend tweeted reasons why I'm a big failure. I should've known it was just a dream; there were way more than 140 characters. 09:32:01
  • OMG the awkwardness. I am the living embodiment of it. Seeing my blood … so much in common but I feel like such a strange stranger. 14:20:16
  • It's a good thing Jesus died on a cross instead of in an iron maiden or on an electric chair; they… https://t.co/s5naXtPfcI 16:10:56