• On page 15 of 163 of The Sense of an Ending, by Julian Barnes: Found this book while wande… http://t.co/t2ojqx4KYL 11:59:00
  • I hate books revolving around unenergetically snotty characters with flaccid dreams, flaccid personalities, flaccid mistakes. 12:10:25
  • I actually *like* flaccid penises, fyi. Semi-flaccid, especially. But I hated The Catcher in the Rye. HATED IT. Would I like it better now? 12:12:13
  • I'm training my face to become the next Anne Ramsey or the landlady in Kingpin. Please feminism, I'm almost there … don't ruin my dreams. 12:16:00
  • Feeling the urge to do an old-school State Report for my site. Revisit what I failed at (but really WANTED to do right) as a fifth grader. 12:38:17
  • I know … I know. You don't have to tell me that none of these things will win me an AVN or XBiz award. I know! 12:40:16
  • In my state report, the Devil's Club wins State Flower. 12:43:25
  • 21% done with Thru-Hiking Will Break, by Carrot Quinn: It took more than 300 miles for the… http://t.co/PznB0sefnd 13:02:39
  • RT @metalhanded: #ProWrestlingHasTaughtMe that just because it's fake doesn't mean it isn't real. http://t.co/j9ExFa0WtC 13:21:59
  • This will be my back-to-school. Taking pictures like this one and compiling state reports with childlike diligence. https://t.co/1beKZxZXfa 13:25:22
  • I'm just going to have lots & lots of books this weekend. No more boys. Wait for my wife to return from Phish, & MFB from Burning Man. 13:41:38
  • If I make time for anything besides books, it should be museums. Trains. Tacoma. Solitary long walking. The SPL. Or the best: chosen WORK. 13:47:03
  • I'm in love with your puffy @MichaelKors vest, @DeliaTS #dressingupinmywifesclothes. I'm off to buy a traveling 3-hole punch! #necessities 14:41:58
  • Keeping #Seattle #hairy! Walking around town aroused by happy couples stopping to kiss & rub on each… https://t.co/k3q2SZAWw3 16:08:05
  • RT @neiltyson: If your body were bolted to the ground when Earth stopped rotating, then your head would snap off, and it would roll due east 16:12:52
  • Self-control is not my strong suit.

    I wonder how many pounds of food I've eaten in the past 3 days?

    It could be worse, though. 17:13:35

  • RT @melissagira: "We see your sex panic." "We see your transphobia." #HoLandSecurity rally now in Brooklyn http://t.co/0T8psfJqEP 17:20:51
  • RT @AyadeLeon: One lesson of #HoLandSecurity HomelandSecurity+#Ferguson/#BlackLivesMatter is the same. Increased police/militarization DO N… 17:21:22
  • Peg Bundy is my sexy style idol. Forever. 17:22:58
  • RT @davenaz: Adult performers are having their medical records subpoenaed. http://t.co/ipgv5DpQFj 17:23:35
  • There's music playing & so much room in the grocery store I feel like we should be dancing. #floorspace http://t.co/gDLYDEiZBh 20:28:49