• Yay! First day of #spring! I started out the day/season masturbating / with an orgasm. 🙂 #wet 08:59:13
  • … Followed by a beautiful #poop. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it! #springfever #life #pooptweets #goodhealth #goodcheer 09:03:57
  • RT @DeliaTS: Yay – Spring is here once again! Here's a bright little #upskirt to celebrate the warmer days ahead 🙂 #longlegs https://t.co… 09:50:50
  • RT @Sticky_Clips: @tastytrixie #bigtits #sexysunday https://t.co/kKqEroz29O 10:25:35
  • Oh, #MadEyeMoody … you're such a mess. Such a mess & I can't help loving you. #glasseye 11:26:51
  • All the reaction shots at the triwizard tournament. I could enjoy & ponder them for hours. Layers of work & possible meanings. #stonermilf 11:34:55
  • I wish I had a little honeybear to make & bring me hot broth & thick sandwiches in bed then tuck me in for a dense heavy cuddle-nap. 11:36:58
  • RT @nberlat: People often feel like they have to do something new or keep up, and it goes badly. 11:55:32
  • I am absolutely NOT the kind of person who'd ever put their name in the goblet of fire. I'm so not #griffindor. 12:04:14
  • I'm whatever house has chronic masturbators. I'm the one who sneaks out to get moaning myrtle to cry & show me her puffy titties at night. 12:06:48
  • I know; you're thinking Slytherin, but I'm pretty sure I'm Ravenclaw. But speak parseltongue like Harry. But that's ALL we have in common! in reply to tastytrixie 12:09:23
  • Gahhhhh! Don't fall down those icy stairs, Cho Chang! Watch where you're going! 12:12:34
  • I *love* saxophones, but I don't think they belong in the wizarding world. 12:14:03
  • OMG I get so fucking choked up & my heart swells when Hermione steps out onto the top of those stairs at the yule ball. 12:17:36
  • You might be on to something, @chrisorourke. Waitn … "onto"? Or "on to"? Fuck. DEFINITELY Hufflepuf. Sigh. in reply to chrisorourke 12:37:45
  • I just SCREAMED when I saw a man at our front door. SCREAMED right at him! He could probably smell my frightened vag when I let him in. 12:38:51
  • It's okay, @AliceSkary … we know him / he had a useful purpose in showing up unannounced; he's taking @DeliaTS dead truck off our hands. in reply to AliceSkary 12:41:57
  • Nevertheless, I should probably counteract the shot of adrenaline with a plain brownie & more smoke. (NO #potbrownies for me EVER again!) 12:43:40
  • Even if he couldn't smell my actual vag, I did have my pussy all over my fingers; couldn't think of reason to go wash hands. We shook TWICE. 12:44:53
  • (if this is giving you sexy fantasies, it shouldn't, because I look like the antithesis of sexy right now) #polarfleece #housecoat #greasy 12:46:16
  • Let's be honest; I'm going to squander this entire day, high, in bed, getting up only to tweet about Harry Potter and my dirty pussy. 12:48:11
  • My non-fat low-calorie lentil soup got cold & over-thick due to surprise truck-exchange encounter. So I should have pizza delivered, right? 12:49:45
  • This soup would be better with bacon. And I'm not just saying that to try to be cool. 12:52:15
  • It turns out that being stoned & unexpectedly called on to forge a signature makes me super nervous. 12:58:58
  • I'm afraid I'm going to get a prolapsed thingeemajigger from couphing hahahahaha can't spell so much. Somebody stop me!!!! #vaginacollapse 13:01:39
  • See MadEye Moody would've made a way better Haymitch Abernathy than that pompous showthieving snob Woody Harrelson. #HungerGames #miscast 13:27:38
  • "I think it's UNWISE for you to linger over these dreams, Harry." -Dumbledore
    "Don't romance the thoughts, Trixie." -a friend 13:31:49
  • I have some Sriracha chicken up my sleeve!! 13:32:40
  • The Weasley twins' capitalism is disturbingly craven at times. 13:35:53
  • Oh god I love that corpse-baby ventriloquest-dummy #Voldemort . 13:42:46
  • RT @VogueParis: From Cindy Crawford to Naomi Campbell, we relive the original supermodel glory years:
    https://t.co/nvgTyeFWPW https://t.co/… 13:43:05
  • "They … electrified George Michael’s music videos togerth and walked …"
    What is "togerth", @VogueParis ? WTF IS TOGERTH?!?!?!? in reply to VogueParis 13:50:09
  • I don't understand people who spend 6.5 minutes eating a meal & are *satisfied*. I need to actively stuff my mouth for 37 minutes at least. 13:56:33
  • It seems like the @instagram people don't like for you to look at or post to their thingies using a desktop / life-sized computer. 14:01:18
  • What is this fairy dust I now find upon my brow?!? I think a tiny naked angel must have sugared my forehead! 14:07:27
  • … they're totally just tiny stale breadcrumb bits I must've wiped there; I don't want anybody to think I'm actually losing my mind. 14:12:24
  • Oh my goodness #Mortdecai is even worse than I'd heard! It's perfect for me right now. 14:26:30
  • Groan … right when I finally started falling asleep, a vision of a sad farmer wringing a goose's neck popped into my head. #MindOfAChef 15:18:57
  • RT @GeorgeTakei: A full house.Is the Family of the Future Polyamorous? https://t.co/3H4zYHMEAc https://t.co/hst2sfWQdb 16:41:02
  • RT @PsyPost: People with anxiety show fundamental differences in perception https://t.co/6dXRNWAcRO https://t.co/zCrRmw6eGs 16:43:23
  • @frankenstein007 I didn't even know there were books!!!!!! Thanks — I am going to love *at least one* of them it looks like! #booklovers in reply to frankenstein007 17:42:28
  • RT @RiotMorello: RE: why Disney speaks to me http://t.co/5PJcpm0XXO 22:03:00
  • There's way too much of this, crooks stealing our pics for use in deceptive shitty ads: https://t.co/kO0W5WvnTP 23:53:52