Back in May I posted about the relief of my wife beginning a job with a predictable set schedule, and how hopeful I felt about finally being able to plan my days, weeks, and months into the future.

After months of enjoying and getting accustomed to that, I have not, however, experienced a hugely noticeable boost in my productivity, planning efficacy, or well-being. I haven’t accomplished more. I haven’t made more money. And in many ways my sense of self has gotten worse, not better. With even more freedom and predictable uninterrupted solitude, I again feel even worse and more down on myself for not having managed to solve all of our problems during this time.

Yes, that’s kind of crazy. Maybe I should give myself more time. But honestly I just need relief from this burden of being my own boss. I want to have a normal job that I go to, and come home from. I want to get a paycheck, and have it go towards taking care of US instead of rolling it all back into taking care of our work, trying to keep our business afloat.

I want to not feel guilty every single second of the day that I am home and not working. I do not want to feel all the time like I *should* be working, 24/7.

After almost a quarter of a century, it’s enough already.