• MAY DAY!!!!!!!!! 00:00:46
  • Started bawling my head off realizing how much I miss @LightningAllie. Many reasons. #rare #needsomeoneitrustwhoknowsmetobossmearound. 00:43:32
  • Felt pretty happy today, so that was … unexpected. It feels good to cry over something I know to be real for once. 00:58:35
  • Tears smell and taste so much different in May than in January. 01:08:25
  • I don't know if it's good for me to be so many people's older woman & nobody's baby. 01:09:47
  • I'm kidding myself; I'm such a baby to @DeliaTS that she protects me from knowing just how much I'm her baby. #safelyfullyloved #iloveyou 01:20:14
  • My timeline's way too emo … you need a late night pick-me-up, and SHE'S RIGHT HERE! LIVE ON CAM FOR YOU!! http://t.co/cUlaouzeBZ 01:29:43
  • My tits look so stupidly enormous in my nightgown without a bra compared to my head. They're totally … big granny knockers. 01:34:11
  • Sometimes I get the word "cum" stuck in my head on repeat. Like
    I'm gonna cum"
    please can I cum"
    I'm fucking cumming"
    ahgawdaahhmgnacum" 05:24:07
  • Yeah. Beyond Bruce Jenner … and BEFORE Bruce Jenner would be great for people to know and care about. https://t.co/KTJYphCmBo 10:42:40
  • (though for people my age & older, Bruce Jenner & her story is a big deal … THE quintessential Wheaties box) 10:46:18
  • Oops! I just read that Bruce Jenner still wants to be referred to as male. So maybe he doesn't get to snatch first female on box claim away. 10:51:39
  • Bruce Jenner & Mary Lou Retton are the 2 people I think of when I picture a Wheaties box. Stories told by cereal boxes: actually important. 10:53:49
  • For sure, & everything in mainstream media, @billieTS – & when the majority of people buy it, it BECOMES real, w/real impact. #frustrating in reply to billieTS 10:57:50
  • In our town, @nitanylion but @DeliaTS & I are cautious about being specific in a searchable way that could too easily get us in trouble. 😉 in reply to nitanylion 11:44:59
  • We do too, @nitanylion – there are three awesome f0rts to explore less than 10 miles away from where @DeliaTS & I live. We love it! in reply to nitanylion 11:54:25
  • May Day pics from years ago: http://t.co/swUxnDgATP http://t.co/ZIichsbckV 11:56:34
  • One of my coolest lifestyle attributes: I take "intensive care probiotics" on the daily. For "digestive + colon health". #SOcool #CoolAsFuck 12:29:47
  • Somebody thank me for the last two #pooptweets I deleted without posting. #Isparedyou #reSTRAINedmyself #theworldlostsomemagictoday 12:33:40
  • Thanks, @AliceSkary! I've considered that, but I feel like it would be such a betrayal of myself to segregate my #pooptweets. #HardChoices in reply to AliceSkary 12:46:39
  • Now @AliceSkary has me LONGING to spend quality time developing this site: http://t.co/Rs5hj2sC0Y (that's "anal fissures" spelled backwards) in reply to AliceSkary 12:52:50
  • I hope there's some outdoor under-the-moon fucking tonight when @DeliaTS comes home tonight. 13:21:41
  • Also: @DeliaTS is working WAY too hard. We need to make her take a little time off. Preferably IN MY PUSSY. 13:23:41
  • I love the way the creator talks about this/his rationale, & the lovely 2001 Space Odyssey design of the entire kit. https://t.co/wdmEWTx92O 13:30:17
  • Then again, so many of the things I think are fucking awesome are actually jokes. Jokes that I take seriously, in rabid earnest. 13:31:09
  • I love feeling my cunt spasm when I orgasm & imagining every clench forcing a jet of cum to spurt out of my imaginary cock. #masturbating 13:50:23
  • Goddamn it I hate when there's a cat hanging out in the background of someone's jack-off video. 14:36:10
  • I need to stop masturbating and, I don't know, EAT or something. 14:42:58
  • Considering the guy was masturbating on his front porch in broad daylight across from CVS, he has different comfort level, @DunklesUnkraut. in reply to DunklesUnkraut 14:44:36
  • RT @fireland: FRIDAY NITE: [3D prints lady] hello hot madam [3D prints jealous boyfriend] back off man we're in love [3D prints Prince] the… 16:20:01
  • I become very very frustrated when sent a jack-off vid & my phone won't play it. And he has a big uncut cock on top of it. <gnashes teeth> 16:36:50
  • Cozy wearing a t-shirt I haven't washed since the time someone jizzed on my tits & I pulled it down over them & wallpapered it to me w/cum. 17:34:15
  • (I'm so sorry folks who want me to be "classy" – it's fucking May Day & I'm horny as fuck & just … cannot fucking contain myself) 17:35:10
  • She's a couple hours, a hot meal, & a long walk away @ridgiedidge so I'm not going to jump @DeliaTS bones right off the bat. 😉 #hug #kiss in reply to ridgiedidge 18:03:51
  • Ugh video tutorials with no text option; do you fucks make your voices sound lazy & just-don't-care to rub in going at your slow-ass pace? 19:17:44
  • I have no idea how I made it through school and held down regular jobs. How the FUCK did I ever do that? NO IDEA. Cried every day I guess. 19:26:18
  • A 3:55 minute video tutorial and I could only get to the 40th second before I started shaking with impatient rage, frustration & contempt. 19:27:29
  • Me, to @DeliaTS: I'm so so glad I can totally be myself with you … and I feel so so sorry for you that I can totally be myself with you. 21:50:50
  • Cute waiter with braces didn't know he was playing with fire when he kept trying to get us drunk / dance on tables & called us "cupcakes". 21:52:53
  • I really love how my brain finally decides to settle down & be able to concentrate on work at computer when should be in bed w/@DeliaTS. 🙁 22:38:43