• So high. My eyes are burning. I cried my eyes out feeling love & admiration for Wes Craven. Why don't I have more cookies?? #godsizedhole 01:49:05
  • Still magical, the internet: how right now while I'm alone in bed someone in St. Petersburg is at my site reading my diary, seeing me naked. 01:59:24
  • Or hacking me. They could just be doing that. And Saint Petersburg left. But now there's someone in Paris on my site. Still like magic! 02:02:12
  • Me in pink #stockings reading Mike Hammer. Jesus, my boobs! But why aren't my hands normal-sized? Weird. https://t.co/wgslRPOxic 02:07:37
  • @transpanik hahaha … totally know that feeling! Still getting used to / avoiding properly learning Lightroom though. in reply to transpanik 02:11:40
  • This makes me feel positively murderous: https://t.co/p9I9tnpKrB 02:16:20
  • Also: so glad the internet is finally making portrait-oriented video okay: one of the overlooked great things mobile devices facilitated. 02:30:30
  • My wife deliats heading to our #backyard blanket where we 69d & fucked outside in the #hot #August… https://t.co/7YDM79qjzk 10:50:12
  • My head got grabbed by a loooooong #blackberry vine on my path. When I finally managed to pull away… https://t.co/oPp9XiRBWL 10:55:27
  • I just came very quietly so the lady under my open window on the other side of the fence wouldn't know what I was up to. 11:52:48
  • Except for my vibrator is really loud. But maybe it could pass for a dustbuster or something. She'll just think I REALLY LIKE TO DUST. 11:54:00
  • RT @Maggie_McNeill: With the exception of one stupid "con", excellent @TheOnion snark. https://t.co/EEanXj8S1S 12:54:32
  • Bodily functions. I'M INTO THEM! And I have the ill-advised domain names to prove it. May be finally getting over people discouraging me. 12:58:03
  • It's not my legacy to leave behind simple loads of "sexy"; if I break from updating w/porn to write about POOP, I'm more fully realized. 13:18:15
  • RT @mikesacco: look, Tolkien said he regretted it, but he still set the precedent: the plural of milf is milves 14:09:00
  • Anyone have excellent/favorite links explaining the "all out of spoons" concept? Especially something readable for folks totally unfamiliar. 14:21:02
  • There was intensely quiet ginger until the loud girls burst in, vocals fried.The minutes were my birthday, the giant moon in my sun. Bye. 15:24:08
  • The prettiest queen of them just got back from Lake Chelan where "the fire was like around the corner from us so like that was cool." 15:36:53
  • On friend who left school: "you don't, like, suddenly just RUN OUT of money." Yeah actually you dumb little fucks, you do. 15:41:07
  • Hatred alleviated by man striking up convo re: @PatrickRothfuss books, & the plainest girl making satisfying loud exhalations post-soup. 15:46:09
  • @SuperViewer thank you!!! in reply to SuperViewer 15:47:25
  • Off-toilet farts are no longer allowed until my week of feasting on sweet delicious nummy prunes is thoroughly out of my system. 17:55:53
  • Pics provided for $25 Amazon gift card hahahahahaha. Ha. Ha.

    Haha. 17:56:47

  • I actually love it, @dana_orourke. I'm home alone … nowhere I'm scheduled to be. It's fun!! in reply to dana_orourke 17:57:24
  • It's like blowing balloons made out of lumpy cake batter with my butthole! #mudpies #sharts #brownandbubbly (FACT: that was a Pepsi slogan) 18:00:09
  • RT @MandyMorbid: The mix of porn and very responsible & concerned social issues on my twitter feed is, like, really interesting and weird s… 18:19:37
  • RT @PatrickRothfuss: Whenever you start to question your own artistic choices, just remember: Picasso drew a butt. http://t.co/vAg02FBNsN 18:21:19
  • Thank you!! That means a lot, coming from you. {{{hugs}}} https://t.co/2scWt0iczv 18:37:35